Fear of Away Pt. 2

I mentioned in an earlier blog that the one thing that does bother me about being here is that the fact that when one is as far away from loved ones as I am, there is a sense of powerlessness that comes with it. There are things you wish you cold do, but you can't.

Within a week's time frame it just so happens that two foreign teachers here in the Pyeongtaek area lost their grandmothers. When I wrote the first time about a fear of away it was because one of my school's French foreign exchange students lost her grandfather. The first time a teacher lost a grandmother, the timing kind of worked out in that he was already going to return because his contract was completed anyway, so when he went because of his grandmother's funeral, he was already set to go home. In a way there was a silver lining. In the second case, because it's still fairly recent and I haven't heard much about the situation yet, I really don't know what's going on there.

Either way, this just reinforces this thought that still influences me coming home after my teaching year is over. But at the same time I know that if I were home, there's still only so much one can do about the inevitable. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Constant internal mind debate.

I'm working on a project right now, which has been keeping my mind busy, so I'm really happy about that, and it makes me look forward to how it will come out.

My outlook on renewing my teacher year is this: If it's mid-March and job prospects/leads looks promising, then yes I'll return home. I need that type of security. I'm not the type of person that leaves everything up to the fates. God doesn't help those who don't help themselves.