Tuesday, January 20, 2015

A friend...

A few days ago a friend of mine and I were having a conversation about another friend, typical.  In the exchange of information this friend told me, “just like what your nemesis is doing.”  Not verbatim, but it was something to that effect.  I paused and thought, “My nemesis? Who could that be?”  In the exchange that “nemesis” was named and then I recalled why this person would be considered my “nemesis.”  However, I can’t think of that person that way, especially when I haven’t thought about them in a long time.  Do I hate this “nemesis” of mine? Certainly not.  Am I angry at this person?  Not in the least bit.  In all honesty, I can’t keep someone in my consistent frame of thought if it is someone whom I feel nothing for.  Nothing at all.  It must be nothing if this person hasn’t even crossed my mind in perhaps years.  If your curiosity is itching at you wondering how I can have this so-called “nemesis,” it’s much simpler than one would think, especially since so many years (almost 10!) have gone by.  Long story short, a few friends and I were close to my “nemesis” (as this person will from now on be lovingly referred to).  Said nemesis sent some messages out to us pretty much detailing all around unhappiness.  In this message, I was ever so graciously (not really) given the option to salvage the friendship.  I chose not to, clearly.  One friend tried, but it didn’t work out, while another one would reconnect years later with the nemesis.  I believe that reconnection also failed, but because I don’t ask about this person, I really don’t know.  At the moment of our disbandment from the nemesis, I’m sure I was livid, but not long after I was already able to laugh about it.  I did learn that right after the nemesis regretted how they approached the situation.  Without access to a time machine, it was a mute point.  I will say that to this day I don’t think that friendship was salvageable.  I used to, and still do, think of relationships where we have options like spoiled milk.  Once it’s gone bad, you can’t ever digest it.  It’s trust.  Trust is easy to batter, but nearly impossible to reassemble.  If the friendship wasn’t going to end then, I’m positive it would have been doomed not shortly after.

In a turn of events, I did have some repairs to make to an existing friendship.  This happened two days ago.  I have a friend whom I am now extremely close to and have come to think of as family, with a very sibling-like relationship.  We have seen each other through a lot; school, work, ups, downs, gains, loses (in people as well), moves, and everything in between.  It has only been in recent weeks that I felt a disturbance in our friendship.  I was honestly going to let it go, but my observations wouldn’t let me ignore them.  I addressed these issues with this friend, and was so glad we talked it out.  We determined the value of our friendship, one definitely worth salvaging.

In conclusion, people come and go, something unavoidable in life given people’s choices in careers, family life, marriage, etc.  Also, given that sometimes we don’t have any choices when it comes to those matters.  So with many factors beyond our control, it is inevitable that people will disconnect from your life, whether an acquaintance, just a coworker, or a loved one.  But noting and fighting for the ones worth fighting for, brings those relationships to a new level, a meaningful one.  For it is the people who you choose to keep that say a lot about you, you just need to be able to know which statement you would like that to make.

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Aud Lang Syne

It's New Year's Eve!  As it is 1:21 p.m. and I enjoy the luxury of being able to hang out in my pajamas, I felt extremely motivated to write a blog.  I will say that I often do feel the motivation, and at times these great ideas strike me, but by the time I get around to writing them out, I find they have been removed from my memory.  I think I'll start doing a little trick I've heard some people do with their tweets.  That is, in the moment, using the Notes app as soon as an idea for a blog (or other social media influenced post) comes to mind and when it comes time to dedicate time to the blog in front of my computer, bam, there are the ideas, ready for me to remember them.

This year, though not the easiest, has been very good to me.  Even when I think about the times that have stressed me out, I must say that it is only a handful of them that stand out.  The major one was doing the jobs of three people this year.  One major thing I am looking forward to is a new hire we have at the first work day of the year.  I get to just do my job for the rest of the school year, wahoo!  However, much in the spirit of aud lang syne, I will say there are those who I cannot help but note had harder times than I did.  This was the year my friends Nancy & Andres lost their father, Abel.  I so much admire their strength as a family and how they pay tribute to him with every family event they have had since his passing.  Bad news also struck our DH community when news came that one of our schoolmates, Jeffrey, passed away in the last week as well at a very young close.  Though not close with him, he was a very kind-spirited young man who always had a smile on his face.  

With this said, my friend Lizzy recently found her "Life Plan."  What is that you ask?  Well, in high school, if you took the AP Econ/Government course (which I got out of), you were asked to work on a major project called a "Life Plan." This plan consisted of writing everything out that the next ten years of your life would consist of.  However, it wasn't all future based, one also had to write about where one currently was including friends, goals, and ideals held at the moment.  One of the questions asked was "If you had to name the one person you have the most compassion for, who would it be?"  Lizzy's answer was me.  In her response her reasoning was that my grandmother had just passed away and in essence had been pretty bummed out for a while.  In retrospect, I had many reasons to be bummed out during that time in 2002.  Aside from my grandmother having passed away, which was of course it's own load, my parents had just bought the house they currently live in.  When the last of the things that needed to be moved out of the truck, that's when my dad found out his mother had passed away.  The timing was goosebump inducing.  My dad headed over to Mexico with my aunt (his sister) and my mom, brother, and me were left to live in very unideal conditions.  For you see, my parents bought a duplex, and the house we were going to live in, wasn't done being prepared for us to move into, so we already knew were going to live in the other house while our house was being finished.  But without my dad around, it brought the intensity of living out of boxes for a while to a whole new level.  Aside from this, it was my senior year of high school, which is one's teenage pinnacle for stress, happiness, closures, and commencements.  I will say that having Lizzy share her life plan response with me reminded me of why we continue to be friends.  Because despite note being able to see each other as often as we'd like, we genuinely care about each other because we've seen each other grow up since we were kids who knew nothing to adults who take cheese with their wine. It was great seeing Lizzy and Heidi yesterday, a great way to catch up and really delve into pre-2015 reflection.
Osc, Heidi & Lizzy (est. 1998)

Always value those you have, and needless to say, I am grateful for those who have been with me this past year, as I hope I have been there for you. (side stream of consciousness note: That last sentence reminds me, all of "Friends" is coming to Netflix in 2015......jaaaaaaaaa!)

With these amazing friends at our annual holiday gathering, this year, gondola style

Blessed to work with an amazing team

Made my niece screech when she found out she'd see Wicked before Christmas

Christmas Eve brunch

Christmas at my parents' house

So glad to have such a great collection of folks to call family

Pre-NYE impromptu (and fun) Vegas trip

Later tonight I'm off to Pati and Nick's recently bough house for their NYE party.
I can't wait to see what you have in store for me 2015.  Should be interesting.  

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Thank You

As a major holiday approaches next week, this November and now (finally) shifting fall weather in LA symbols a few things in my mind.

First off, my dad's birthday is tomorrow, hoorah!  My dad is a great hardworking man who is many things from my oil change guru to my cocktail instigator.  He is a dedicated guy who has come a long way in his life.

However, this day last year had a different tone to it.  It is also the anniversary of when I lost a car, and was in my first accident.  Yes, this accident happened on my way to my dad's birthday dinner.  Need a reminder? Read about it here: http://theoscblog.blogspot.com/2013/11/bus-pants.html

Finally, Thanksgiving is next week.  I'm running a 5K called the Turkey Trot in DTLA in the morning with my friends and then joining my family for dinner after.  So it looks like I'm doing the whole eating/exercise pattern backwards next Thursday.  I've been working out leading up to it and feeling great.  Should be a fun experience.

Enjoy your Thanksgiving family and friends and I hope you all have plenty to be thankful for and appreciate it.

Sunday, November 2, 2014

November Rennaisance

Amidst the excuses one can have for not posting a blog online, mine has been postponed due to the October I've had.  I figured the start on November would be a good time for a new post.  This October was really trying, as stressful as ever trying.  But now that it has ended, and I attest it to what I found out this weekend was Mercury being out of order or just things in general being out of order.

At the same time and I look back and see that the bad seeds of the last month or so are focused.  But it is that they were so extremely focused that they felt stressful beyond measurable scales.

However, since the last blog post, I've had some highlights that I plan to remember as events that will overshadow the shadows of the last 30-ish days.

First off, I had a milestone birthday, and enjoyed it in Temecula with close family and friends.

One of the awesome gifts I got was visiting the WB Studios and yes, that's me in Central Perk for Friends

The start of fall also included seeing friends from my travels, I always enjoy getting together with them.

My twin nephews are now also a year old!!!! That's insane to me.  I feel like they just got home from the hospital last week.

Dressing up is fun too, including our Star Wars night, Halloween and Dia de los Muertos:

With the note of Dia de Los Muertos is something I am observing this weekend, alongside others.  This day signifies remembering what is gone on a positive note and celebrating your life.  I'll keep that in mind.

Happy November.